I was pregnant with my third baby and preparing for her birth. After leaving several antenatal appointments with my NHS community midwife, and then getting a call out of the blue informing me that I was GBS positive was the last straw. (They did a swab without consent – I didn’t even know the doctor was swabbing, I thought she was just examining my cervix). I wanted something different, I wanted full control of my body, my pregnancy and my baby. I didn’t want to have to constantly fend off interventions and coercion into doing things I wasn’t happy with.
I was considered “high risk” because of my age, medical conditions and now GBS+. I also had high amniotic fluid levels as well as a large for gestational age baby. I so desperately wanted to birth my baby in my home with my family around. This seemed impossible through the NHS. So, after listening to a load of podcasts about birth I started my Google search to find out what my options were. Then I found the Independent Midwives UK website. I did a search to see who my nearest midwife would be. I sent her an email asking if she had availability and if we could meet.
With my previous antenatal appointments, I would leave the medical practice feeling angry, sad and deflated as the NHS midwife kept telling me that I may not “be allowed” to have a homebirth as I was under consultant care. What a difference with an Independent Midwife. My antenatal appointments had now become relaxed, fun and enjoyable. We would sit and enjoy a cup of coffee together, do observations and just sit and chat. It was so lovely. We discussed my individual risks and how we would safely navigate through those and how to deal with any situations if and when they arose. I felt heard, I felt special and I felt like I would be hugely supported of my choices and guided through a homebirth with expertise.
When my baby was ready to join us earthside, my IM was just a call away. I didn’t feel like I was only allowed to call her once in established labour. She was available when I needed her. No excuses, no fob offs, she was on her way! I was still in early labour when she arrived and she offered me all the support I needed. She was there when I needed her and would make space when I needed that too.
My surges started to increase in intensity so we were on our way to welcoming our little girl! Our second IM was on the way, so I knew we were getting closer. I had climbed into the birthing pool just to help ease the intensity of the surges. About 10 minutes after, my waters forcefully erupted into the pool! I knew things would happen quickly from here. With my IM, I felt so safe, I could do this! My IM didn’t ‘need’ to do any examinations as she could tell exactly at what stage I was by observing me. The hands off approach was just what I needed to experience my first physiological birth. Baby started descending and she started to crown. I had had 2 epidurals previously so this was a wonderful new experience for me. Baby’s head was born and then her body, she gave a big cry and was placed in my arms. My IM didn’t need to cut her cord or take her away from me, she was calm and focused and guided us through this birth. Once my baby was in arms I said, “we did it!”. It was the most empowering thing I will ever experience in my life. And I know in my heart that I wouldn’t have had the same experience through the NHS.
I climbed into my own bed, snuggled with my baby and my family and just enjoyed our now family of 5. Our second midwife had arrived just after Pia was born, we were all giggling and chatting as if we’d known each other for years. The children helped to weigh and check baby Pia, they looked at her umbilical cord and placenta and we discussed what these organs do. My eldest helped to cut the cord. Our second midwife was able to do the NIPE at home.
Did having IMs cost us money? Yes. Was it worth it? 100% yes! It’s a personalised service you can’t get through the NHS. My previous 2 births were not traumatic but they didn’t go as I hoped they would. I wanted a physiological birth, and now I had got it!
The postnatal was just as exemplary, we didn’t need to leave home and each visit was lovely. We struggled with feeding and were helped with this, never once felt pressured to just try some formula as I had done previously. She helped me try and we set up a feeding plan.
If I was having another baby, it would be ‘Independent Midwife’ again!
Melissa
